Saturday, April 23, 2011

Grist: confess a sin against Earth

I received an URL for a nice prankster website,
Earthconfessions.com (click)
On that website, you may enter your sin against the Earth - for example, you confess that you have just used natural gas to cook your lunch.



Click to zoom in

The website produces a nice postcard such as one above. It tells you how you should pray to a saint, e.g. to St Umbra who is O Mother of everything that is good and green. The Sin Gallery is usually very funny - showing that most sinners visiting the website are witty skeptics. ;-)




I was intrigued by the logo of Grist - a famous environmentalist blog.

Well, your humble correspondent was immediately thinking: those pranksters are cruel. They make it look like the Grist people's brains have been eaten by a dog. Every person with IQ above 100 can understand that the Grist people are deluded bigots - but with such a website, everyone would figure out that they are nuts. I was afraid that Grist could sue me for helping to spread misinformation that they're creating insane religious websites of this kind.

So I decided to check whether the pranksters have at least used a genuine Grist logo. How far did they get in their effort to imitate the Grist activists? So I opened
Grist.org (click)
to find out that the logo was exactly accurate. But I was watching for two more seconds to find out something much more remarkable... The Earth Confessions website actually is a genuine product of Grist.org. The Grist folks are promoting it on their very title page. They promise you that the truth will set you free. Tell us your eco-sins and go in peace. Confess now. And they're damn serious about it! ;-)

Ladies and Gentlemen, we live in a world where the boundary between the fact and fiction - and the boundary between mental health and a hopelessly devastating mental disease - has been fully dispersed by certain people. It's just amazing. You would think that it's one of the cruelest pranks attempting to show that the environmentalists' brains are full of feces - and after a minute of research, you find out that it is not a prank!

Well, Grist folks are not the only ones. An Australian priest has figured out that CO2 emissions play the role of a new crucification of Jesus Christ.

Amen. ;-)

Thanks to Marc Morano for some helpful URLs.

You may also want to know what is the holiest word of the climate cult. What is the word you should use very often if you want St Umbra and Her divine climate sisters really love you? Michael Tobis who is not in the climate science for the gold (but instead, for the U.S. dollars only) gives us a clue about the holiest word:
Mosher. [...]

Let me explain why. It is not because I am a pusillanimous chickenÅ¡hit, Mosher. It is because the fu⊂king survival of the fu⊂king planet is at fu⊂king stake. And if we narrowly fu⊂king miss pulling this out, it may well end up being your, your own fu⊂king personal individual fu⊂king self-satisfied mischief and disrespect for authority that tips the balance. You have a lot of fu⊂king nerve saying you are on my "side". [...]

Really, though, it's the fu⊂king thought that counts.
I hope your soul is sensitive enough to figure out what the new holiest word is from the excerpt above which represents the most current trends in the man-made climate change science. A simple computation of the holy word reveals that Mr Tobis has achieved Rank 8 which makes him a truly respectable authority among his fellow climate fu⊂king scientists and especially chickenÅ¡hits. But Tobis modestly admits he's still far from the most productive elite of his field when it comes to expletives:
Like I said in the comments, sorry, I'm Canadian, so I'm not very good at cursing.
By the way, when it comes to "sins against Earth", the only difference between skeptics and worriers is the worriers' breathtaking fundamentalism. Hank Campbell has just discussed some sources indicating that the actual behavior of the climate skeptics is as green as the behavior of the climate fundamentalists. Indeed, as Mr Tobis rightfully wrote, it is just the ... intimately interacting thought that counts! :-)

Gene has taken a quiz in Christian Science Monitor that attempts to measure how green you are depending on your choices of Honda Civic and Toyota Prius. You may try it, too. However, I think that there is still a big difference between the results of such "I am so green" tests and the actual lifestyle of the people.