This week we bring back leading satirist, Dr. E.L. Kersten of Despair, Inc. who says that if your organization is at all established and successful, it's probably already become a bloated, uninspiring workplace (Ooops!) Dr. Kersten, author of "The Art of Demotivation" has some suggestions on how to take back your organization by overcaffeinating your workers, limiting their contact with the outside world, and teaching them that the need for "fairness" is petty and weak.
Create a start-up culture
- Hire recent graduates (or folks with no/little experience) because they are less like to complain about work, overtime, etc.
- Hire people for whom work is life (who would not mind 16-hour workdays)
- Suspend rules
- Overtime on weekends (pay with comptime that never gets used)
- Emphasize that desire for fairness is the impulse for the petty and weak
- Children whine, adults work
- Reward sacrifice and commitment to management over competence and achievement
Provide high caffeine drinks (not tree-bark coffee)What can I say - it's always great to hear some good, down to earth wisdom.
Limit social interaction (all roads to promotion must go through your desk)
