"The Grinch Factor"

(a poem by UVa law school professor Rosa Brooks:)

The Whos down in Who-ville

Were a tolerant lot:

Who Christians, Who Muslims — a Who melting pot.

Who Hindus! Who atheists! Who Buddhists, Who Jews!

Who Confucians, Who pagans,

And even Who Druze! The Who 1st Amendment's Establishment Clause

Said, "No creches in courts," and the Whos loved their laws.

Because somehow … they worked. The Whos rarely fought,

Mostly, each Who did just what he ought.

Every Who down in Who-ville

Loved the Consti-Who-tion a lot.

But the O'Reilly, who lived up in Fox-ville,

Did NOT!

The O'Reilly DETESTED the Who Consti-Who-tion,

He thought it was some sort of liberal pollution.

Now, please don't ask why, for I really don't know.

Perhaps it had something to do with his show.

It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.

Or it could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his RATINGS

Were two sizes too small.

Well, whatever it was, bad ratings or tight shoes,

He stood there one Christmas, just hating the Whos.

"They're so multicultural," he sneered, "and wherever they're from,

They lack the good sense to just launch a pogrom!

There's no Who ethnic cleansing, no Who Inquisition,

If this PEACE can't be stopped, I may lose my position.

Those sensitive, tolerant Whos! It's quite grating.

I must think of something to fix my show's ratings!"

Go read the rest here.